Grieve

Change is the only constant in life. And that results in grieving, which is the natural consequence of experiencing change. Many of you are reading this because some form of traumatic change has come upon you. And the good news for those of us who are believers: “We do not grieve as those who have no hope.” 1 Thess. 4:13. Change is not the true enemy. Fear is.

So, whatever fears you might feel, my hope is that the following resources will help you reframe your current circumstances through the eyes of a God who loves you. He is “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (1 Cor. 1:3-4). 

When people die, it forces us to deal with our deepest beliefs about death. The truth is, all of us will die. Death is part of God’s plan. (Hebrews 9:27) But it’s the timing of death that we wrestle with.

Sometimes, the way in which people die, is what causes people to grieve differently: For eg, when people die from certain diagnoses / accidents / addictions or suicide, it can create different emotions in us. Sometimes people grieve the fact that they weren’t able to say goodbye or reconcile their differences.

So remember: When a big change happens, it results in a lot of emotional work. Some people say, “There’s no wrong way to grieve.” Yet, we all know, smothering our grief in drugs, risky behaviors, or other self-destructive habits is 100% wrong. (And I realize that, when people say these things, they simply mean to say: We all experience different emotions at different times, which is totally Ok). Yet, at the same time, statements like these are often used as permission to allow fear, self-loathing and other self-destructive lies to enter into our heads. Yet, as believers, it’s critical to “set our minds on things above.” (Colossians 3:2).

But how? This is what the following resources will help you accomplish.

VIDEO MESSAGES:

Below are six messages I often give to friends who are grieving:  The first is “Grieving 101: How to Grieve Well.” The next three messages are all about heaven – which helps people meditate on the realities of our lost loved ones, and a future we can look forward to. The final two messages are designed to help us recommit to God’s mission on earth while we are walking through devastation.  

 

“How to Grieve Well”

When devastations or traumatic changes happen, it’s hard to avoid being overcome with fear. It’s common for some to self-destruct.  But how do we prevent this? Believe it or not, we can arm ourselves with certain truths that can make us extraordinarily resilient amidst difficulty. But have you internalized them? (Isa. 43:1-2; Dan. 3) https://vimeopro.com/substancechurch/reinvent/video/203706196

 ANOTHER FAVORITE is a Sermon from Bethel Church:  the pastor at Bethel Church in Redding California, Bill Johnson’s wife died with cancer. And soon after, he preached this message to his church. It is both beautiful and profound.  https://youtu.be/LbmKDFcG-vE

 

HEAVEN SERIES:

 “Heaven Changes Everything“ (from the series: “Things Above” Pt 1) – Many people struggle trying to look forward to heaven because they still hold all sorts of unbiblical ideas about what heaven will look like. So, after sharing 10 interesting ideas about heaven, Pastor Peter begins to cast vision for WHY our theology of heaven can change everything regarding our motivation today. (Luke 23:43; Revelation 6:9-11; Prov 25:2; Heb. 4:1).

 

 

 

  “The Scientific Case for the After-life” (Part 2, Things Above) – What if Heaven was just “wishful thinking?” How do we really know there is life after death? After sharing dozens of fascinating studies and stories, Pastor Peter shares the evidence that is causing leading scientists to rethink what we know about life after medical death. Perhaps the Biblical teachings of heaven were right all along? (2 Cor. 12; John 14:1-3).

 

 

 

“Kings & Queens”       (Part 3 in the series, “Things Above”) – Motivation always runs low for people who have a bad theology of heaven. It’s a natural consequence. So, after giving dozens of fresh reminders about the age to come, Pastor Peter explains God’s invitation to rule and reign with him. What will it look like? What might we be in charge of? And what are the scriptures which promise this? (Isaiah 60:1-10; Col 3:1; Rev. 2:26; Rev. 4:10)

 

The following messages were written and shared when our church walked through the tragic death.  The Glewwe’s were our beloved family pastors. Chrystal was tragically killed in an accident, leaving her husband and four young kids. So, in response, Pastor Peter Haas delivers a message on how to recommit to God’s mission, even during devastation. 

“The Art of Surrender”– We all have breakdown moments in life. And in those moments, our success doesn’t come from our striving; rather, our surrender. But how good are you at doing this? Sometimes it’s harder than it looks. (Psalm 73; Romans 8). https://vimeopro.com/substancechurch/substance-winter-2016/video/152027068

 

“Give Yourself Fully”  After sharing the powerful story of Adoniram Judson, we learn how to reinvest our lives back into God – even after experiencing delays, discouragements and devastations. (Hebrews 6:10; 1 Corinthians 15:58).        

https://vimeopro.com/substancechurch/substance-winter-2016/video/152833597          

 

Podcast:  Susie Larson & Carolyn Haas “The Miracle of God’s Comfort”

HELPFUL SCRIPTURES:

I Thessalonians 4:13  “We grieve… but we grieve with hope….”

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit”

Isaiah 63:9 “In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of His Presence saved them. In His love and mercy He redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.”

Isaiah 53 – Meditate on a prophecy about the Messiah that describes Jesus as “acquainted with grief.” What does it mean to be acquainted with grief yet also acquainted with heaven?

John 11:35  “Jesus wept.” The shortest verse of the Bible can say so much.
The context is precious because Jesus’ close friend, Lazerus, dies. The Messiah experiences the confusion of those around him and pain of death first hand. The sisters are frustrated and aggressive with Jesus, simply because they didn’t understand the various ways that God overcomes the sting of death. Yet, when Jesus sees them weeping… he weeps.

Matthew 5: 4 “Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted.” (the blessing… is the promise of comfort… THEY WILL BE COMORTED)

II Corinthians 1:3  “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.“

Proverbs 3:24-26  “When you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for the Lord will be at your side (will be your confidence) and will keep your foot from being snared.“

Psalm 23: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. Your rod and staff they comfort me….“

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Here are a few of my favorite books on heaven that have helped me grieve.

My Time in Heaven, Richard Sigmund – he died for several hours after a severe car accident and miraculously came back while the nurses were wheeling his body to the morgue! He gives one of the most detailed visions of eternity ever published. He describes the hundreds of opportunities given to people who inherit eternal life: from recreational experiences to clothing, to custom homes designed around detailed passions. You will never imagine heaven as angels merely floating around on clouds again.

My Glimpse of Eternity, by Betty Malz – She died and experienced heaven. And shortly after she came back, she went through several powerful grieving processes that contrasted with her time in heaven. She speaks a lot about miracles while simultaneously pondering why God doesn’t do other miracles but instead offers us comfort. It’s a profound meditation on how to reconcile our faith in the midst of this apparent contradiction.

Heaven is for real: a little boy’s astounding tory of his trip to heaven and back, Todd Burpo (They also have kids books too).

90 Minutes in Heaven, Don Piper. (this is about his story / experiencing heaven / but also it’s about experiencing heaven while simultaneously surviving pain).