The Conspiracy of Pumpkin Spice Lattes – and 5 Other Things I Love About Fall
There are Six Things I love about the Fall…
(1). The Pretense of loving Hot Apple Cider & Pumpkin Spice Lattes: Do we actually like these drinks? Heck no. That’s why we only tolerate them once a year. Imagine if you had a friend and you could only stand to see them once a year (& for brief period of time). Can you really call them a “friend?” Don’t get me wrong: I love having awkward food traditions. What would Thanksgiving be like if your grandma didn’t cook her horrifying butternut squash? The truth is: your Grandma hates her own butternut squash. But we all comfort ourselves with rituals – painful though they might be. So be a good soldier and order a pumpkin spice latte.
(2). Football: Part of the reason we love football is because, if we ate nachos and pigs-in-a-blanket on a normal Sunday afternoon, it would be considered gluttony. But there’s something about watching people “work-out” that enables the rest of us to treat ourselves to a entire bowl of buffalo wings. As to the 3rd thing I love about Fall…
(3). I Love Provoking Jealousy in all my Friends who Live in Southern Locations: Here’s Why: Come February, all of us Minnesotans will be hating our lives. Our southern friends mock us by constantly texting us their summer-like temps. So, we pre-emptively store up self-esteem by posting a million romantic hay-ride pics on facebook. Do we actually like jumping in leaf piles filled with sharp sticks? No. Do we like taking dirty hay rides with dust mites the size of Alaskan king crabs? No. But, just like squirrels store up nuts, we too must store up the jealousy of our southern friends. Its gives us something to feed off of during Winter – lest we feel stupid for living up north.
(4). Deer-hunting: I’ve never actually shot anything before. But deer-hunting season gives us a reason to purchase an AK-47 without a whole lot of questions. Deep down, we’ve all got an inner “doomsday prepper” that needs to be nurtured. And deer-hunting season gives us a socially acceptable facade that enables us to shop & build that secret doomsday compound – er, I meant to say “deer stand.” Keep in mind, however, when you buy a hundred pounds of dried yams so you can “have something to eat in the deer stand,” it looks suspicious. So be subtle about it. As for the 5th thing I love about Fall…
(5). The Word “Foliage:“ Every Fall, I try to utilize the words “foliage” or “cornucopia” on an hourly basis. Saying these words, while drinking a pumpkin spice latte, is what the pilgrims fought and died for. And think about it: If you were walking down the street in early summer and said: “Check out that dude’s foliage,” …it simply doesn’t sound right. But in the Fall, it might even make you look thoughtful, perhaps pensive.
(6). The Fall Small Group Catalogue: Last, but not least, I love the Fall at our church. I love seeing all of our college students return. I love seeing all of our long-time cabin-folks get saved, again. And we are taking our Small Groups to a WHOLE new level this Fall: If you see our new Small Group Magazine, you’ll notice a fancy new section called: “Connect Groups”… Imagine home groups that share a meal and discuss a sermon together. I.e., In addition to all of our Interest-based groups, we wanted to make it easier for people to find transformational fellowship. Our team has been handpicking some of the best leaders in our church to lead these. So, if you join one, there’s a fairly good chance you’ll find some dynamic new friends.
As we design the build-out of our new building, it’s clearly going to bring in massive growth and expansion. (& I’ll be revealing some of these plans in a few weeks!!!) But, in the meantime, we want to prepare for this growth by making sure our “community fabric” can handle the stretch.
After all, the REAL reason we like Pumpkin Spice Lattes are because of WHO we drink them with. So come join us!
P.s. Check out the foliage at our University of Northwestern campus. It’s awesome.