The Real Conversation We should be Having – What is God revealing in YOU through Charlie Kirk’s Death?

Someone recently asked me: “Why aren’t you saying more about Charlie Kirk?”

To be fully honest, I’m still processing it.

I realize many of you are looking for me to give words of wisdom. Yet I keep hearing the gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit reminding me: “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”—a tough command to stomach when everyone around us is saying the exact opposite. But let’s be honest: most of us regret things we’ve said far more often than things we didn’t say. Truth be told, I feel like I’ve already made some mistakes this past week in talking about Charlie Kirk.

For example, in my recent blog I posted a collage of some of the people who’ve lost their lives (and their families). As I did it, I found a picture of the transgender boy who terrorized my city recently. When I saw him as a teenager standing next to his mom, the photo broke my heart. In that moment I felt the Father’s heart grieve for him. So I thought: “We’re all victims of Satan’s schemes.” And I put his picture into the collage.

Yet a thoughtful church member approached one of our pastors and asked: “Why would Pastor Peter put the shooter amidst pictures of the victims? Isn’t that insensitive?” After hearing that, I thought: “Oh gosh. I never even thought of that.”

But that’s the heart of the problem, isn’t it? We are thinking and feeling different things. And we’re all talking more than listening. Or to put it another way: when we’re mad as hell, we aren’t full of heaven. And it makes sense why the Bible says: “Human anger doesn’t bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1:20).

So whenever my heart is full of anger (and trust me, I’ve been ranting to myself for hours on end this last week), here’s what I usually do: I start by reading the Psalms and asking God a simple set of questions:

1. Where are all of these emotions coming from, Lord?
2. Father, what would you have me do about them?

Usually, after a short time of journaling, I not only gain insights about buried trauma but also begin to experience the fruits of the Holy Spirit again—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22).

In some ways, it doesn’t surprise me that the death of Charlie Kirk stirs up so much emotion. He put himself at the heart of a lot of tough conversations. And regardless of your opinions of him, I think we can all agree he was a provocateur of complicated conversations.

My daughter pointed out recently that Charlie followed me on Instagram—which surprised me and messed with me a bit. I’ve heard him do many great debates on Christianity—as well as some cringe-worthy ones. And like a lot of media personalities, he had plenty of misquotes, regrets, fans, and enemies.

I have many mutual friends with him who’ve said he changed a lot over the years and grew in his faith.

But the real question isn’t: “Who do you believe Charlie to be—good or bad?” Rather, it’s: “What did his death trigger in you?”

Whenever people ask me to share my opinions about him (and it’s happened about 10 times a day since his murder), I’ve started to hold my tongue until that same person can answer this:

“What are you REALLY looking for in this conversation?”

And I would ask you the same question.

Really think about it for a minute. Is it validation? Is it safety? And then my follow-up is: “Why?” If you can’t give me an answer, then nothing I say will satisfy you anyway.

It’s similar to Jesus when the blind men near Jericho cried out: “Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!” (Matthew 20:30). Jesus responded: “What do you want me to do for you?” (v. 32). When I first read this, I thought: “Seriously Jesus? Is that question even necessary?! Isn’t the answer obvious? They want their sight.”

But let’s be honest: when we lack hope, many of us wouldn’t even dare to ask Jesus for something as unrealistic as healed eyes. Often, when I’m hopeless, I settle for handouts, old-school validation, or even pity.

Here’s an even better question: What do you believe God is doing in response to Charlie Kirk’s death? God is always “working things together for the good of those who love him” (Romans 8:28). So when you think about your fears, insecurities, and pain, what does God’s Word say about those things? That’s what we should be talking about this Sunday.

So let me give you a little pastoral advice:

1. Take a break from the news and social media before coming to church this Sunday. The Bible says: “Where many words are spoken, sin is not absent” (Proverbs 10:19). Another translation puts it: “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” And let’s be honest: all you’re doing is catching more pain.

Did you know that “second-hand offense” and “second-hand anger” often have an even more devastating physiological effect on the friend than on the actual victim? Think about that. When you listen to the outrageous things being said online, you’re just internalizing more pain.

2. When you come to church this Sunday, don’t come for validation. Come for Jesus and his Word. Allow me to be a real pastor by talking about heaven, not politics. Allow me to give you heaven’s optimism, not mankind’s cynicism.

As Paul put it: “It’s shameful to even mention what the disobedient do” (Ephesians 5:12). And again: “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

Besides, it’s our church’s anniversary. And I’m still too angry to talk about Charlie Kirk and all the cultural problems his death reveals.

I realize that, for some of you, that’s not what you want to hear.

I know you want more from me right now. But trust me in this: you’re going to thank me by the end of our services this weekend.

And here’s one last word of advice: don’t decide to go—or not go—to church based on what your pastor or Christian friends have “said or not said.” Instead, go to press into the presence of the Lord. Go to worship. Go to hear wisdom from heaven. And here’s what it sounds like:

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.” (James 3:17–18)

Amen?

Father, only you can heal this earth and heal our hearts. When our hearts are overwhelmed, lead us to the Rock that is higher.” (Psm 61:2).